Frankenstein: Sperm Donor Daredevil
by Thomas Davidson
(Time Twisted Tales)
Price verified 3 hours ago
FRANKENSTEIN: SPERM DONOR DAREDEVIL
Seven Exposés, Warnings, Essays, Reports & Stories (for connoisseurs of bad behavior). These pieces appeared in MudRock: Stories & Tales, All Things Crime, Booktrack, and my nightmares with a laugh track.
QUESTION: When does one officially become a connoisseur of bad behavior?
On the day following the weary realization that you cannot stop, reduce, or even put a dent into the rising tide of crude or criminal conduct. It's a global pandemic, a meltdown of good manners. A tsunami of terrible tantrums. And the tidal wave is roaring toward you. You are a sentinel on civilization's shore, arms raised, stamping your feet in the sand and screaming, "Stop the sh*t--behave!" Alas. Here comes a thundering 900-foot wall of water exploding with sharks, sea snakes, piranhas, barracuda, torpedo rays and crocodiles. Good luck.
The transition from "moralist" to "connoisseur of the unrefined arts" is three easy steps--surrender, drop standards, clap. This slim volume is a standing ovation to bad behavior. The pieces include the godfather of bad behavior, an embittered Walmart greeter, Frankenstein (the ultimate mega Mack-Daddy), telephone terrorism, King Kong (self-defense tips), Patty Hearst and Carl Jung, toilet bowl boosters, a miniature World War III, and... the world's only singing & dancing bank bandits.
Reached by phone last week, an eyewitness at the bank recalled, "Those four men. They lined up like a firing squad. I was scared to death. But Lord Jesus, they did a line dance. Like they was the Temptations with firearms. They danced and waved those weapons. Dancing bandits? I never seen nothing like it. Holy Jesus, imagine blagging banks in your beret and salsa shoes. Dash in, wave a weapon, and do the Boogaloo at Wachovia while shouting, 'Everyone on the floor... the dance floor! That's right. One, two, three -- drop! Hit it, people!' Goodness, what fun. I mean, come on... rob Citibank while dancing the ...
Genre: Literature & Fiction
Length: 114 Pages (3,816 KB)Lending: EnabledAdded: Mar 20th, 2019